30 June 2009

Dear Smooth and Silky Finish

Dear Aunt Nancis:

I've been told I have a drinking problem and that I consume too much wine. I'm concerned because I really don't see what the big deal is about. For me, drinking isn't a problem so I dont' understand what all the fuss is about.

Aunt Nancis, what are the signs of a true drinking problem? Is it running out of booze and spending the last few shackles that were set aside for milk at the liquor store instead?

Or is a drinking problem when your family life interfers with some serious drinking time?

I don't get it.

Sign me,
smooth and silky finish.

Dear Smooth and Silky Finish: (and what the hell kind of a name is that?!?!?)

I don't see where you have a drinking problem at all. Sure, you're not flat on your back somewhere, are you? You can obviously sit upright and compose a letter to yours truly. Nothing wrong with you at all.

The problem is with the people who tell you that you are an alcoholic. They are jealous. The recession has probably hit them very hard indeed and they can no longer afford to drink themselves silly like you can.

And if your family is interefering with your drinking time, either get them hooked early or throw them out!

-Aunt Nancis


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