25 June 2009

Dear Fanatical Fan

Dear Aunt Nancis,

I've got a bit of an obsession with Elton John. I am thinking of
developing a Winehouse-style addiction in hopes that he'll take me in for rehab. Even though I have appeared on The NTV Evening News on two occasions, I fear I will not fall into the celebrity fighting addiction category that get invited.

Nor have I have ever been invited to his Grammy party and I fail to understand why. I have seen some of those invited guests and they are not all that...

My celebrity worshipping have gone unrewarded - so far... I will admit that there may be a thin line between celebrity worshipping and actual stalking...yep...I know the line...

Aunt Nancis, I am begging for your help. I MUST meet Sir Elton!

Fanatical Fan

Dear Fanatical Fan:

Although I have great pull in celebrity circles, I am sadly unable to help you in your quest to meet Sir Elton. He and I had a falling out a few years ago and...never mind.

Perhaps you are wasting your time on all this; Elton is obviously not interested in you constantly flinging yourself at him.

However, I think if you take all this energy and fling it in the direction of his husband, David Furnish, you might get closer to your goal. As you know, Furnish (a lovely Canadian boy) is a film maker. I'm sure he has nothing better to do at the moment than to film you living out your fantasies to stalk Elton John. Or he may call the police. His call.

Let me know how it goes.

-Aunt Nancis


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