29 June 2009

Dear Worried Friend

Dear Aunt Nancis,

I have a friend that seems a tad obsessed with gin. I write her an email and ask what she is doing over the weekend or in the evening and she says drinking gin. She also calls herself Rita and talks about Audrey, Blanche, and Liz who I know to be characters off Coronation Street.

What should I do.

Worried Friend

Dear Worried Friend:

First off, there's nothing wrong with naming yourself after a character on Corrie. Or even pretending you are Rita, or Audrey, or any of the above named. We've all done it from time to time.

The problem is that your friend is an alcoholic. This takes her out of the realm of Corrie because, as we all know, there are no alcoholics on that show (unlike the dirty gobshites on Eastenders who can drink man and beast under the table).

There is nothing you can do. Just buy her a bottle and quietly change the channel to Eastenders.

-Aunt Nancis


1 comment:

  1. The real problem is not Corrie, but gin. Take your friend out for a week, and keep her soused with rum. It will convince her to give up her problem (gin) and start drinking rum.

    Her other problems will then gradually disappear as they are all gin dependant. Only one problem will remain, rum, and any rum drinker can tell you it isn't that bad.

    Provided you don't run out.